


I Wanna Feel You (I want it all)

by KaRaEa



Series: Pornstar 'Verse [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Bruce is not a good foster dad, Infidelity, M/M, pornstar AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 20:28:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11298252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaRaEa/pseuds/KaRaEa
Summary: Dick drops by Jason's place unexpectedly and Jason can't help but revert to old thought patterns.





	I Wanna Feel You (I want it all)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Meg Myers' 'Desire'

Jason half expects to get a call telling him Dick's called off the whole thing. No more movies together. But the phone call never comes. Instead he gets a visit from the man himself.

At first Jason can't get past the surprise enough to say a word, let alone let Dick in. He never gave him the address.

"Tim told me where you live," Dick explains when his greeting goes unanswered. "I told him we were working together these days, that I had to bring you paperwork."

Tim doesn't know about the porn, so it could be true. Still pisses Jason off.

Dick shifts uncomfortably. "Can I come in?"

After a moment's consideration Jason stands aside.

The apartment is cleanish. Jason spent the day cleaning not long ago, he'd had a one night stand over and had wanted to impress her. There's clean laundry on the couch and Dick looks around for somewhere to sit until Jason moves it.

"Why are you here? Harley would have said if there was more paperwork," Jason says. He wishes he hadn't put the final demand notice on his fridge. He'd wanted to remember to pay it when his paycheck came in, but now Dick is looking at it and Jason wishes he'd set a phone alarm or something instead.

"I wanted to see you. Outside of work." Dick smiles haplessly. 

"To fuck? Or are you here pretending to be family?" Jason asks. 

The smile vanishes and Dick tenses. "Can't it be as a friend?"

Jason snorts but doesn't argue. If Dick wants to pretend this goes beyond work, if it makes it easier for him, Jason has no problem with it. Maybe he can get Dick to buy him a couple of beers every now and then.

Dick clears his throat. 

Jason stays silent, enjoying the awkwardness.

"Bruce didn't tell me when you were in hospital," Dick says eventually.

Jason stares. Whatever he was expecting, he wasn't expecting Dick to go straight for the deep stuff.

"Tim only told me after you got out, everybody thought I already knew but I didn't," Dick continues. "I would've been there, Jason. I swear I would."

"Yeah, well." Jason doesn't know what else to say. He never thought they'd be having this conversation.

Dick swallows, looks again at the final demand notice on the fridge. "I hate that I wasn't there for you. I should have been."

Jason shrugs. "You barely knew me, dude. We got fostered by the same guy, that doesn't make you responsible for me."

"You only had us," Dick argues. "Maybe we're not your 'real family', but we were the only one you had and we weren't there for you."

Jason shrugs again. "I do alright on my own."

"Still, I-"

"Seriously, can we stop talking about this?" Jason interrupts. He crosses to the fridge, rips the notice down as he opens it to grab them each a beer. 

"But-"

Jason sighs. "You can't change anything. It's done. What you can do is have a beer with me and shut the fuck up about stuff that's already happened."

Dick meets his eyes for a moment, then reaches for the beer. "Sure."

"Good." Jason grabs the remote and turns the TV on. He and Dick have never really done small talk and Jason can't stand the awkward silence anymore. All that's on that Jason can stand is some shitty sitcom he's seen in passing but never watched. He leaves it on anyway. 

"Talia hates this show," Dick says, relaxing back into the couch.

"How is she?" Jason asks, more to see how Dick will react than because he actually gives a shit.

Dick breathes out. "She's pregnant."

Jason freezes. He coughs a little on his next sip of beer and stutters out an, "Oh. That's..."

"I think it's Bruce's."

Jason can't help it. He laughs. Not much, not loud. But this is... This is ridiculous. That he's here with Dick, having this conversation, talking about Dick's pregnant other half and that Dick is telling him this. That Dick is finally realising that Bruce is the asshole Jason's known him to be since spending three weeks in a hospital bed alone. He wonders if Dick's realised why yet, if he's realised Bruce is obsessed with him, that Talia's only a way to indulge the obsession.

Dick doesn't comment on the laughter, doesn't get offended. "I know she's sleeping with him."

"So why are you still together?" Jason eventually replies, not sure what Dick wants from him here.

"I don't know," Dick says.

"You don't know? Come on, you gotta know that's fucked up," Jason laughs again.

Dick smiles a little. "I'm not sure I've got enough experience of non-fucked up situations to tell." He finishes his drink and leans a little towards Jason. "I think a part of me just doesn't want to admit it. If I keep on like everything's normal I don't have to give anything up. I can keep my foster dad and my fiance. Play happy families."

"Why are you telling me this?" Jason can't help but wonder. If there's anything more fucked up than the situation that Dick's in, it's the fact he's talking about it to Jason of all people.

Dick's turn to shrug. 

"Are you..." Jason trails off. He wants to ask the question but he doesn't like how it sounds. He doesn't want Dick to think he cares either way. In the end curiosity and Dick's expectant stare win out. "The porn, is it a revenge thing?"

Dick holds Jason's eyes for a moment. "A little. Not completely."

"Then why?"

"I need the money. I'm not sure I'd be good at anything else," Dick explains. "And it not so bad, it can be fun. Better than some boring office job where I'd be sat on my ass all day."

"So you prefer having other people sit on your ass all day instead?" Jason quips.

Dick snorts. "Something like that."

They watch TV in silence for a while. The couple on the show have an argument over something stupid, the canned laughter grating on Jason's ears. The set up is so obvious he rethinks his stance on porn writing, where the format is predictable but there's at least some stylistic flare, some unexpected one liners. At least in porn they don't have to tell people when to cum.

Another wholly predictable line. Another bout of canned laughter. Jason switches channels and Dick doesn't complain. He settles on a police procedural this time. One of the ones where pretty women with long blonde hair they don't even tie back find long blonde hairs at the scene of a murder while their boss poses against the sunset and makes a pun.

Next to him, Dick reaches to put his empty bottle on the floor and Jason becomes aware of how close he is. He's reminded acutely of UST filled evenings from before he left Bruce's. How his poor hormone ridden teenage self had spent hours at a time aware of nothing but the places Dick's arm brushed against him while they watched a movie. It'd been difficult, being so jealous of Dick and so angry at the constant comparisons everyone made, but wanting him. In the end he'd convinced himself he only wanted Dick at all so he could bring him down to Jason's own level, and prove that he wasn't as perfect as everyone thought.

Jason can't resist pressing a little closer, living out a teenage desire to see how Dick will react. He'd always wanted to know, if he'd have gone for it, what Dick would have done. Patted him on the head with brotherly affection? Shoved him away in disgust? Laughed and brushed it off?

Or would he have looked at Jason, seen the look in his eyes and taken it seriously?

Here and now, Dick's breath falters for a split second, but he doesn't react any more than that. Jason likes to think Dick's waiting for a clearer signal. He lets his fingers brush against Dick's thigh as he raises his hand to... Well, really the whole point is to brush against Dick's thigh. He excuses the movement by scratching idly at his opposite wrist then lowers his hand again. It can't be his imagination that Dick's thigh is closer than it was on the way up, like he's moved in for more contact on the way down.

When Jason glances sideways, Dick is still watching the TV and suddenly it's more than a memory. He's reliving those feelings like he's sixteen again and Dick is his forbidden crush. Except now Jason knows how to do this.

He trails his hand up his own thigh, watching surreptitiously to see if Dick notices. If the way he shifts a little, gaze flickering just slightly away from the screen, is anything to go by then he notices alright.

That gives Jason the confidence to press his arm fully against Dick's side, eliminating what little space there had been between them. 

"Jason..." Dick says, and Jason can't tell if it's supposed to be a warning or a request.

"Did you ever think about me? When we were younger?" Jason blurts and curses himself for the slip. The question was supposed to be internal. He didn't really want an answer, didn't want to hear Dick's platitudes. Unfortunately, that confused kid with a hard on for his foster brother was still in there somewhere and needed to know if he had a shot. If he'd ever had a shot.

Dick is speechless and Jason already regrets the question.

"Doesn't matter," He mutters, and kisses Dick just to move them past that god awful moment. 

He'd been expecting something different, for it to feel nothing like it does when they're on set, but it's the same. The same taste and movements and the same spark of lust in his gut. Oddly, he's not disappointed.

It's Dick who reaches Jason's shirt, peels it up and off as he feels his way along Jason's upper body. Jason's grateful for that. He doesn't know if he has it in him to take the lead anymore, that young insecurity still dancing through his thoughts. 

In a way this is different. Not just because they're off set, but because this is Jason's private fantasy. A script he's had perfected in his head since he first learned how to fantasise. No element of this is for anyone but Jason. 

He can still hear the TV show in the background playing an episode made well after Jason left home, taste beer on his and Dick's breath, but he doesn't give a shit what era this is, he's been waiting for this too long. As far as he's concerned they're time travelling, giving young Jason his wish.

Dick tugs his own jacket and shirt off then goes back to wrapping himself around Jason. 

Jason's embarrassed to feel himself shaking a little, he wants this too badly. Wants it more than he should. He'd moved past this, moved on, but then Dick had walked onto Jason's set and fucked it all up and now Jason wants him so badly he's struggling to breathe evenly. His skin is hot and his heart is pounding and he feels almost like he did when he thought he was going to die when he was attacked, but this is better, this is pleasure not panic. 

Dick moves up from where he's been kissing Jason's chest and catches his mouth again, lingering with a groan that sounds as desperate as Jason feels. "Jason," He murmurs as he mouths across Jason's cheek, lowering his forehead to Jason's shoulder so he can watch what he's doing as he undoes Jason's pants.

His name, his full name, reinforces that this is them not a job, that Dick wants him, and Jason's heart jumps at the sound of it.

As soon as he can pull his jeans free, Jason moves over Dick, covering him and pinning him, but Dick stops him.

"I swear to god if you stop this now I will kill you," Jason gasps.

Dick kisses him in reassurance and pulls his own pants off, tugging Jason back down on top of him when he's done. And there's so much skin. They've done this so many times, but the feel of Dick's skin against his is something Jason doesn't think he'll ever grow tired of. Especially now when the only person it's on display for is him.

They're writhing together, pressed far more tightly than a porn shoot would allow, hiding all the good bits between their bodies and covering whatever they can with skin and pressure. When they finally lose their underwear it feels like connecting the last piece of a circuit board, energy and heat zinging up Jason's spine with the contact. 

They don't go for penetration, neither motivated enough to separate long enough to get lube and do prep, already far enough along just from the pressure and closeness. Jason's quite literally a pro at this, but there's no finesse in his movements and he's already close to the brink after only a few minutes. He realises somewhere in the back of his lust clouded brain that this is about more than sex, and if he had any attention left over to devote to the thought then he'd be terrified. As it he kisses Dick all the harder, holds him all the tighter. 

Dick's hand brings them both over the edge not long after they started, close enough together that Jason doesn't even feel bad about how fast it all was. They don't move from their half reclined position, Jason plastered over Dick's front with a hand trapped under Dick's ass.

It occurs to Jason that this might be all he gets, but he can't bring himself to worry about that yet. Not when he can feel Dick's heart still racing beneath him, hear his shaky breathing. 

"I promise I didn't just come to fuck," Dick says.

Jason laughs. "Could've fooled me," He teases, and drops an ill advised kiss on Dick's shoulder. "Not that I'm complaining."

When he can breathe normally again he kisses Dick on the mouth again. This is his fantasy and he's not ready to let it end.


End file.
